So, here we go ....

Although I've been blogging for years (via the more in your face method of email), I figured I'd give this baby a try. Less intrusive, more colorful, ... less annoying? Well, we shall see. The hard part for me is to be honest with myself and who I am while trying to "put a good face forward", so to speak. Those who know me well know that I either 1) say what's on my mind (to a fault) or 2) say nothing at all. In the latter case, it's usually because I'm steamed or hurt or hearing the echo of the words "if you can't say something nice..." and thus, trying to avoid collateral damage or predictable repercussions. Couple all those strengths, weaknesses and idiosyncrasies together and you have the work-in-progress that is Brek.

Back when I actually wrote in a journal, I wrote (usually) with the thought that I was not writing for the benefit of anyone else. Instead and in many ways, I was writing for the future me. (At worst, it was just a travelogue of sorts). Alas, I have since learned that I no longer have the luxury (or the privacy) to only write for me. I can't just howl at the moon or complain to the void (/dev/null, as it were) and expect it to disappear. Like bad mistakes, some emails, status updates or comments are built to last. I understand that what I write might actually have some longevity or substance. 'Might actually have some visibility, for Pete's sake. For better or worse, I need to be more disciplined, more controlled and more thoughtful. By tipping my hand to the world and exposing my thoughts, I am of necessity placing a filter on how and what I think. There's back-pressure that forces me to examine myself before clicking 'Send' (or 'Publish Post', in this case). At the very least, the negativity and cynicism which come so easily to me must be relegated to the dungeon. Whether I have the fortitude to go downstairs and beat them with clubs or, instead, to fill their water dishes and pat them on the heads remains to be seen.

That said ...

One of my favorite books in high school was Conrad's "Heart of Darkness". I don't have time to go into an in-depth analysis here, but the main thing I learned from it was that, all things being equal, when a person is plunged into an environment in which there are no social or environmental restraints (i.e. people who actually know him), that person's true colors will ultimately show. Like a delayed-reaction sunburn after a long day of fun in the sun, the red will show up. Thus, social restraints are a good thing. Much like finally accepting your parents' "Add Friend" requests, restraints keep us from running around the jungle in loin-cloths and face-paint and spears chasing after pigs. They keep us from going simple. They help us to engage with entropy. They help us to check our behavior until such time as good behavior becomes so habitual that that is who we are! As the rest of the universe faces heat-death from the ever-increasing tide of disorder, we must fight the power. We must take a stand against that which is wrong -- not just in some subjective sense but in a very absolute sense. Despite the seeming futility of the fight and the ominous wall of black clouds moving toward us (if not fully upon us), good, truth and right will prevail. The fight is fixed. We may get bloodied up in the process, but we will win.

In the meantime, it's a Friday ... and I better get back to work.

P.S. As for the title of the blog ("Crisis? What Crisis?"), it has reference to the title of a Supertramp album back in about 1975. It shows a man sunning himself under a beach umbrella while all around him is chaos, destruction and darkness. Apropos, n'est-çe pas?

P.P.S. This wasn't intended to be interpreted as a political statement -- just good old-fashioned right versus wrong. (added 4/6/2009)